Can't remember anything and now 46, it'a a lot worse. I write so many scraps of paper out and try to re sort every day / week but also have a huge stack of ideas that I forget to look at. How do you remember to remember. I am doing the Artist Way - writing morning pages is really helping me sort through my mind (got further in to me than speaking to husband /friend / therapists has ever managed!) and focusing - which seems to be related to remembering to me. The mother load and self employment is a lot, chuck on scrolling from overwhelm, I am a mental hot mess. Time to self without distraction always helps but I am sad that I don't remember much from past, especially those clubbing teens & 20's. Siblings and friends are great at reminding me of other times which is a real joy.
This is my sign to get freedom app? Yes I kid myself that I need to be on social media for my business and even on here but I do it so badly as get suuucccckkkeeed into other peoples output rather than mine! Off to read that essay! Thank you
Please forgive me for medicalising your beautifully philosophical article but I can recommend a specialist osteopath who works in London. She's called Jo Wildy and she's written a book on brain health related to the structural housing of the brain.
She's got 35 years of experience with hands on bodies and heads and she could assess you and tell you of there was a structural reason (possibly from head injuries, dental work, whiplashes) for your memory and senses changing.
We can forget that blood supply, venous drainage, lymphatic flow and all other fluids that nourish and clean our cells also do the same in our brains.
A beautiful summary of the chat you organised and also of your thoughts and research. Personally, I find comfort in the fact that my mother only remembers embarrassing moments of my childhood so I am happy to have forgotten them!
Absolutely spot on. As I approach my 73rd birthday, I find that things I did subconsciously in my youth, twenties, thirties and even middle-age : 40’s and 50’s, now requires a deliberate and conscious effort to achieve. Am I just getting old or slowly going senile? I’m not sure, but just like you, I now keep a very detailed diary. It has become my ‘handrail’ for what I’ve done, what I want and don’t want to do and, more importantly, my ‘go to’ when my memory lets me down. BTW, sat here writing this while Ben Watt and Jay Hannan’s ‘Lazy Dog Deep House Mix Vol. 2’ ’ plays. Interestingly, whilst all other memory functions have clearly deteriorated, my music memory remains intact and razor sharp. I can still remember where (Bristol HMV - now closed?) and when (c2002) I first heard no it. Play me a tune and nine times out of ten, I can still name the artist/es and year. Why is that ?
Hi Mark, I’m so delighted you love house music at 72 (and I really hope that doesn’t come across in a patronising way). I can also remember the first time I heard particular songs and when I hear them they take me right back to that moment… I love the idea of a ‘handrail’ journal too. Thank you Annie for telling us how you feel about memory. Mine are hazy too x
Golly, so much of this resonates with me. Particularly the sudden need to start documenting things for my children and organise albums for them - it’s almost like a mild panic that’s ever present in the back of my mind. I’m in my early 50s and my children are in their 20s and I’m not sure if it’s a case of becoming more aware of my own mortality or whether it’s just a need for my children to have something curated from me to show and share my journey with them as a mother whilst I still remember all the funny, quirky little things that they did when they were little. My memory is definitely not as good as it was, and I remember very little of my own childhood and maybe I’m afraid of gradually forgetting things from my children’s early years. I do think we imbibe so much meaningless drivel through scrolling online and that’s definitely something I need to work on - love the sound of the freedom app - I’m worried I’ll remember more funny cat videos than things from my own life!! I don’t think our brains are designed to take on this much constant information; no wonder our memory shorts out.
You’ve articulated beautifully a feeling that resonates with me to my core. I have almost zero memory of my childhood (and I don’t think it’s trauma related) and what I do remember is prompted by photos. My grandmother had an amazing memory and told me many, many family stories, all of which I’ve forgotten and she’s now gone. I feel sad that I won’t be able to pass down family lore to my daughter or even my own memories. For the last few years I’ve made her a photobook album of the year and she loves them but they’re as much for me as for her.
I bet. I get that. Might it be worth recording a conversation with her? Use voice notes on your phone. — ask her some questions about her life and yours. If only to have preserved the sound of her voice it would be worth it x
love this. I'm currently living in Budapest for three months and, because I'm away from my home in London, everything feels brighter, more memorable, and time has a luxurious feeling of stretchiness. it makes me want to move around forever!
Hey Annie, I loved this and totally relate. I've always had a terrible autobiographical memory (I have no mind's eye so I think it might be to do with that). My life is like popping up somewhere on the tube, oops here I am!
To counter it a bit, like you have been taken more photos... so many of my memories are of a photo, rather than the event itself. However, I do have a memory of you DJing in a club in Manchester a everyone did the electro equivalent of Oops Upside Your Head and sat on the floor leaping up at the build. It was amazing, hilarious. Again, like you said, something different and unusual can punch through!
Can't remember anything and now 46, it'a a lot worse. I write so many scraps of paper out and try to re sort every day / week but also have a huge stack of ideas that I forget to look at. How do you remember to remember. I am doing the Artist Way - writing morning pages is really helping me sort through my mind (got further in to me than speaking to husband /friend / therapists has ever managed!) and focusing - which seems to be related to remembering to me. The mother load and self employment is a lot, chuck on scrolling from overwhelm, I am a mental hot mess. Time to self without distraction always helps but I am sad that I don't remember much from past, especially those clubbing teens & 20's. Siblings and friends are great at reminding me of other times which is a real joy.
Oh Anna i feel ALL of this. listen I am no fucking wellness guru, but the one thing I think you could feasibly do in amongst all of the chaos is quit the scrolling. I use an app called Freedom which i set for big chunks of my day, that blocks me from using social media. It's changed the game for me. This will help every other aspect - as it just frees your head up. OR you could be radical and quit social media altogether. check this piece from Hannah Power.. https://thisiswhatawitchthinksabout.substack.com/p/things-got-really-weird-when-i-got?selection=ab1b65db-ae08-44dc-9f1f-ad3cf1ee70cc#:~:text=I%20didn%E2%80%99t%20realise%20that%20my%20privacy%20was%20luxurious%20and%20I%20was%20just%20giving%20it%20away%20for%20free%20to%20people%20and%20Mark%20Zuckerberg
This is my sign to get freedom app? Yes I kid myself that I need to be on social media for my business and even on here but I do it so badly as get suuucccckkkeeed into other peoples output rather than mine! Off to read that essay! Thank you
Hi Annie,
Please forgive me for medicalising your beautifully philosophical article but I can recommend a specialist osteopath who works in London. She's called Jo Wildy and she's written a book on brain health related to the structural housing of the brain.
She's got 35 years of experience with hands on bodies and heads and she could assess you and tell you of there was a structural reason (possibly from head injuries, dental work, whiplashes) for your memory and senses changing.
We can forget that blood supply, venous drainage, lymphatic flow and all other fluids that nourish and clean our cells also do the same in our brains.
I hope you find this helpful and comforting.
With well wishes,
Hannah
A beautiful summary of the chat you organised and also of your thoughts and research. Personally, I find comfort in the fact that my mother only remembers embarrassing moments of my childhood so I am happy to have forgotten them!
Absolutely spot on. As I approach my 73rd birthday, I find that things I did subconsciously in my youth, twenties, thirties and even middle-age : 40’s and 50’s, now requires a deliberate and conscious effort to achieve. Am I just getting old or slowly going senile? I’m not sure, but just like you, I now keep a very detailed diary. It has become my ‘handrail’ for what I’ve done, what I want and don’t want to do and, more importantly, my ‘go to’ when my memory lets me down. BTW, sat here writing this while Ben Watt and Jay Hannan’s ‘Lazy Dog Deep House Mix Vol. 2’ ’ plays. Interestingly, whilst all other memory functions have clearly deteriorated, my music memory remains intact and razor sharp. I can still remember where (Bristol HMV - now closed?) and when (c2002) I first heard no it. Play me a tune and nine times out of ten, I can still name the artist/es and year. Why is that ?
Love a diary as a handrail Mark. And yes! Music is a portal to my past like no other ! It really really works x
Thank you for pointing me to Lazy Dog. Missed it first time round. Very cool.
Hi Mark, I’m so delighted you love house music at 72 (and I really hope that doesn’t come across in a patronising way). I can also remember the first time I heard particular songs and when I hear them they take me right back to that moment… I love the idea of a ‘handrail’ journal too. Thank you Annie for telling us how you feel about memory. Mine are hazy too x
Golly, so much of this resonates with me. Particularly the sudden need to start documenting things for my children and organise albums for them - it’s almost like a mild panic that’s ever present in the back of my mind. I’m in my early 50s and my children are in their 20s and I’m not sure if it’s a case of becoming more aware of my own mortality or whether it’s just a need for my children to have something curated from me to show and share my journey with them as a mother whilst I still remember all the funny, quirky little things that they did when they were little. My memory is definitely not as good as it was, and I remember very little of my own childhood and maybe I’m afraid of gradually forgetting things from my children’s early years. I do think we imbibe so much meaningless drivel through scrolling online and that’s definitely something I need to work on - love the sound of the freedom app - I’m worried I’ll remember more funny cat videos than things from my own life!! I don’t think our brains are designed to take on this much constant information; no wonder our memory shorts out.
You’ve articulated beautifully a feeling that resonates with me to my core. I have almost zero memory of my childhood (and I don’t think it’s trauma related) and what I do remember is prompted by photos. My grandmother had an amazing memory and told me many, many family stories, all of which I’ve forgotten and she’s now gone. I feel sad that I won’t be able to pass down family lore to my daughter or even my own memories. For the last few years I’ve made her a photobook album of the year and she loves them but they’re as much for me as for her.
I bet. I get that. Might it be worth recording a conversation with her? Use voice notes on your phone. — ask her some questions about her life and yours. If only to have preserved the sound of her voice it would be worth it x
yes, it's really special to record voices. I have just a couple of precious videos and voice memos of my dad and my children when toddlers
This was so wonderful to listen to, thanks for sharing!
love this. I'm currently living in Budapest for three months and, because I'm away from my home in London, everything feels brighter, more memorable, and time has a luxurious feeling of stretchiness. it makes me want to move around forever!
Hey Annie, I loved this and totally relate. I've always had a terrible autobiographical memory (I have no mind's eye so I think it might be to do with that). My life is like popping up somewhere on the tube, oops here I am!
To counter it a bit, like you have been taken more photos... so many of my memories are of a photo, rather than the event itself. However, I do have a memory of you DJing in a club in Manchester a everyone did the electro equivalent of Oops Upside Your Head and sat on the floor leaping up at the build. It was amazing, hilarious. Again, like you said, something different and unusual can punch through!
Wow, what a great piece!
Ah here Jo Jo - thank so much xx